Alarm Clocks and Bodies

Alarm Clocks and Bodies

My dog, Mavis, has become my alarm clock. There is something about 6:30 pm that makes her start singing to me. Low guttural mini-howls. It is at this point that I usually realize I am holding my breath, shoulders up to my ears, staring into the abyss of my computer screen. If I don’t pay attention to her she will attempt to crawl in my lap, all 65 pounds of her. Then, and only then, do I return to my body. I realize that I need to get up, get out of my chair, move my body, get a snack, hydrate and breathe.

Sober October, some thoughts on getting curious

Sober October, some thoughts on getting curious

I guess that is how it started for me. Just stop for 30 days. Could I stop for 30 days? What were my plans during those 30 days? What would I have to forgo, what plans might I have to change or what “hard” decisions would I have to make? And then I asked some different questions:

What role does alcohol play in my life? What does it add? How does it help or hinder me from living the life I imagine for myself? Who am I without alcohol in my life?

It wasn’t Dry January or Sober October. I just picked a day - June 15, 2019 to be exact. I decided to stop, to get curious. I would approach this as an experiment. I would approach it like my practice.

Confessions and Compassion

Confessions and Compassion

I have a confession to make. The last couple weeks I have found myself avoiding my yoga mat. It has felt like an obligation - something I have to do. And quite frankly, I have been afraid of my mat. However, I know this experience. After practicing yoga for over 20 years, I notice a pattern. There is a power in getting quiet, to turning inward and listening to what arises - listening to your deep knowing. It can feel overwhelming and you can start to intellectualize what is going on - but ultimately the practice is about feeling, naming the sensations and honoring what arises. To become truthful with ourselves is often a daunting and uncomfortable task.

False Flats

False Flats

This week a friend of mine reminded me of the “false flat” concept. Now, for those of you who are not runners or bikers this might be a new concept so I will explain it.

Imagine you are looking at a road in front of you, a flat road. You run or pedal as you would on a flat road but begin huffing and puffing. You immediately think, “huh, what is going on? Did I forget to hydrate? Did I not get enough sleep? I don’t understand - it usually isn’t this hard.” The whole while you keep pushing wondering what is wrong with you - what you did or did not do that makes this situation harder. And it actually gets harder the longer you go along - it is tougher and tougher to manage the same amount of effort. Only after you are done, when you check your gps or look behind you do you realize “that wasn’t flat, that was actually a hill.” The imperceptible grade to the road, making it look flat and free of obstruction is a “false flat.”