it’s snowing outside and i’m packing up my life
for my move this weekend.

as i pack, i find so many memories.
i pick up a cd, a book, a plane ticket,
and the memory comes flooding back.

i have been in one place for over a year.
much longer than i anticipated staying.
i never thought i would settle here,
but i find myself tearing out the roots,
as i pack these things.

even though i’m only moving 20 minutes away,
i’m finding this move to be life-changing.
in more ways than one.

my favorite time of year has come!
i eagerly await December each year.
and when it’s here, my heart is so full.

each year i feel a bit of grief,
as Christmas is never as it was
in my childhood.
but i’m so glad for it too.

because Christmas is no longer Christmas to me.
it’s Advent.
it’s a season of anticipation, rejoicing, and celebration.
celebration of the coming Son.
rejoicing because the Father sent a way of redemption.
an outstretched hand.

my heart is overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness.
my Savior has come!
my Redeemer.
Emmanuel.

life is so complicated.
i know people say this often,
but i guess i’d like to not believe it.

i think that’s all i have to say this time.

i think i’ll start putting a photo with every post.

here is a photo that reminds me of denmark.
it has nothing to do with denmark,
come to think of it.
but it reminds me of something spoken to me there.
something spoken over me.
at the time, the word was amusing to both the speaker and myself.
even though we understood the depth of it’s meaning.
it seems fitting to remember this at this time in my life.
i had a corresponding dream last night, to boot.

in news closer to reality:
i have an apartment!
moving in january to my new home.

i like these photos.
they come from this blog, i like to read it.
someone told me about it, but i’ve forgotten who it was.
most of these came from this post.

my dear blog,

i have so abandoned you.
please forgive me.
also, readers…all 7 of you, please forgive.

things are changing!
my brother and sister-in-law are preggers.
my best friend is getting hitched.
i’m looking for a new place to live.
and my hair is getting longer.

ok that last one was a bit ridiculous, but whatevs.

i’ve been working very hard these days,
so my personal life has very much been neglected.
however, i feel as though i can breathe again,
and the holidays are almost upon us!

my life is full.
and i had a really great dream last night.

i’ve reduced attention to my blog these last few months.
i don’t really like that.
i haven’t allowed my brain to think the way i normally do.
in blog form.
therefore, i’ve had less blogs.

still,
my hair has nearly doubled in length since this time last year.
it’s weird to think about that.

my life is changing in multiple ways.
good and not-so-good.

in other news,
i’m so happy it is my favorite season.

the more years i add to my life,
the more i realize how odd i must seem
to most people.

i often wonder if i’ll ever not
feel out of place. in transition.

there are few souls like mine in the universe.
or at least in the dallas/fort worth metroplex.
and when i find one,
this amazing thing happens.
i feel so drawn to that person.
they instantly understand me,
and i’d like to think i understand them too.
i want to spend time with these people,
to find out how they maneuvered this area of life,
and how they handled that thing.
what, with our like souls and all.

i feel a validation of sorts when i meet someone like me.
it’s a feeling of relief when i see that i am not the only one
who might be the odd one out.

i wonder how many people feel like this.

i had a dream the other night
that i moved to new york city.
and it was just on a whim.

and it felt right.

my heart is changing
from how i felt not too long ago.

who knows?
i doubt i’ll move to new york though.

maybe portland?

this quote was on my google homepage today:

When you’re through changing, you’re through.
-Bruce Barton

i liked it because it’s so true.
not necessarily a good thing,
but i enjoy things that are true.